I want to say something witty here, but all I can think of is “Putting the dogs down.” I hate myself. (Click to enlarge.)

People always tell you that starting up your own guild thing is hard. But that’s generally all they say. “Hey, it’s hard”. But they don’t tell you how. They don’t mention that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you know that the people you have talked into coming in with you on this crazy adventure are looking to you for answers and you have nothing. Or when someone goes out of town or a freakin’ hurricane hits the East Coast and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it and great, there’s yet another week (or two, or three) that you have to push back your start. It is frustrating, and completely out of your hands.

Many an evening was spent in conference, going Pollyanna all over the place. We can DO this. It’ll happen. And that’s the part that just kills, you know? Deep down, you know you can pull this off. Your group is solid, you’ve thought of just about everything, you’re approaching it all with a level head and a sense of humor. When stuff happens, you huff and puff and admit you’re mad and then get on with it. Meanwhile, you’re watching people patiently waiting and preparing, diligently running heroics and LFR and leveling professions and stockpiling materials and doing dailies until they’re blue in the face and up to their eyebrows in hate. Everyone is cooperating, offering their time and pulling together and making each other laugh and you know, this is going to happen. You know it HAS to happen, because you’re sitting on enough food to feed a guild three times your size for a year. Sometimes the only thing that keeps you pushing forward is that moment where you stand in front of the guild bank, and someone says,  if we don’t pull this off, what the fuck are we going to do with all these banquets?

The thing that they don’t tell you is that when you have spent so long in a holding pattern, something as innocuous as killing a single boss feels like taking world first. There is a strange sense of pride that comes from that first raid. It is, in some ways, the most important raid you will ever run, because you get to finally see if all the flashes of brilliance you’ve seen can become something big enough and together enough to make things die.

It wasn’t perfect, of course. We had to take a pretty big break mid-raid, and my current connection gets quite perturbed when I attempt to tank Feng the Accursed. The latter is particularly hard, not because I don’t think my back-up can do the job, but because dammit, I’m a tank and I’d rather be tanking. But the Stone Guard only took us ten pulls, as opposed to another guild that I can think of  that blew two weeks worth of raids on that kill. (It’s our petty competitiveness that makes us awesome!) We learned fast, we recovered quickly, and we got the job done. We didn’t get a crazy number of pulls on Feng, but we got fairly fair. It’s quite doable.

If nothing else gave me heart about last night, this certainly would have: Facing a fairly persistent hole in our DPS roster, we were forced to pug. We managed to get a hold of a hunter; very smart, very solid player, and recently unguilded. It’s a little weird picking up someone and saying, by the way, this is our first run as a guild ever! Still, he stuck with us, even through the intermission (where he happily participated in the murder of some flagged Horde with us outside the instance), and was highly instrumental in our progress. He seemed to fit right in. And apparently he agreed, because by the end of the raid, he and his wife had joined the guild. I think that might be what actual winning looks like.

It gave me great pleasure to wake up this morning to our first realm ranking. We are currently the 124th-ranked server on Proudmoore – US. All things considered, I’m damn proud of that ranking.

And seriously, don’t put any more banquets in the gbank right now.


~ by Esco on November 15, 2012.

One Response to “OH GOD FINALLY”

  1. I’m sure I could put an “unbearable” joke in here somewhere, but I won’t .. instead I’ll just say “woot!” and finish my morning coffee.

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